I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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