Whod you bang
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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