Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
