you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
