i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
