My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
