Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
