If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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