i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
there is glitter all over my balls
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
