my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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