I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
