Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
