didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
