I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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