It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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