In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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