I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
