At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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