It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
