how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
