I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
