He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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