Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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