I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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