chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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