kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
