She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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