I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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