On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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