Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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