I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
