ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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