At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The Olympian is in my bed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
