you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
