sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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