i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
