drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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