I am puke
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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