oh god the rape fog is back!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize