I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
