Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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