Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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