so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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