Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
