Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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