Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
birth control should be required to get into college
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
