It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
