Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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