i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
