why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
