just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
