Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
