I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
