lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
