I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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