I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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