did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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