Its about making memories worth repressing
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
