Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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