And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
