I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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