i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
